After a few days of gathering all the clues and the fingerprints, the policemen confirmed that the murderer was actually someone that I know. I was deplorable when I heard the news. It was someone that is very close to me and whom I know very well. It was my dad! I could not even let myself believe it. I did not even know how he did it.
Now I know, this is why he did not come back home this few days and I could not even contact him. This make me very sad. Extremely sad. I was getting more and more bathetic.
These few accidents had already made me depressed and now another case made me more and more melancholic. I did not talk to any people at that point of time and I was living in my own "world". The policemen have arrested my father.
I went to the police station without hesitation to see my father. I could not believe it. I hung my head low when I saw him. I would forgive him no matter what as he is still my only one father. My father was begging the police officers to let him talk to me.
I was once again mawkish. The police officers agree but for only a short while. My father went towards me and gave me a bear hug. I could feel tears streaming down his cheeks ceaselessly but I could not do anything to help him at all.
"Take care of yourself," my father was crying non-stop. This may be the last words that I could hear from him as I was not allowed to visit hm anymore.
Everyday I woke up, I would start thinking of the happy moments that I spent my precious time with my father. Sometimes, I would even cry but nobody knows. Nobody. It took time for me to overcome the emotions as it was an unforgettable experience. I could only blame on myself! All those accidents had happened to my close ones in only one day.
How unfortunate I am? I wished I could save my close ones and sacrifice my own life as I could not forgive myself. "Thank you Tom for being my very best friend, I would always remember you!" This is what I could only say to him, my forever best friend. After a few years, I could overcome my emotions and became more optimistic. I was waiting for a day to see my father to come home again...
4 comments:
Yes, you are EMOTIONAL of course. Or else we will not call you astro siao EMO chaota santa clause.
Well nice story I should say and praise. Quite original. This story izit something related to last year Queen gave us the composition test on the chestbox floating that topic? Something similar seh...
Well, nice ending. I like the last part. You wait for your father come back. Did your mother like encourage you?
Hmm..your compo is like got a little "emo-emo", but I can't really feel the "punch". Maybe you want add some "emo-emo" descriptive phrases. Like that I sure cry.
I have one question to ask you. When Tom died, you like a bit sad only. Then you are like more interested and attracted to the plastic bag? You said that Tom was your best of the best friend. But like that is like I sad when you injured only. Maybe you want consider add something like,"Thank you Tom. I will always remember you." at the last part of your ending story. Like that people will know that you really treat Tom as your very very best friend.
After all, nice story! Keep up the good work! Next time write better one!Must be "emo-emo" one as it suits your character. Haha.
Jiay00us! =)
Thanks for all your comments you gave to me!!!
Oh ya..I have a question to ask you. If your father is the murderer, what is his purpose of killing the person? Maybe you would want to explain more about this.
You can consider my opinion(in the phone), if not, your ending part will sound very unrealistic and weird. Readers will keep asking you the same question.
Overall, this is a good piece of story after some editing. I am looking forward to your next story that is more "emo-emo". Jiay00us orh! =)
This, I agree with catherine. Personnally, I feel that you should work on:
1)why did your father kill the corpse?
2)How did he kill the corpse?
3)How come when the police just did the DNA test and found out that it was ur father who was the muderer, ur father just somehow just appeared at the police station.
4) dialougues.
These are the four main points that either are lack of or did not elaborate enough.
Pls do some "touch-ups" on ur story to make it more interesting.
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